i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
