He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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