About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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