The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
