somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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