I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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