My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
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Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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