things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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