Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
