can we get nightvision for the apartment?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
