considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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