Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
