I'm drive I can fine osifer
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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