I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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