There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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