Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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