Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
