A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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