I faked an abortion last night.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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