3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Floor bacon is actually really good
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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