I got chris browned last night
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he thought i was a dude.
do herpes really smell.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
