Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
