dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
