Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
