I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
