I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
