she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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