How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
