Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
