Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
