Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm really busy with my period
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