nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Holy shit dude........stairs
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize