Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
