ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
