I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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