There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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