Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
