I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize