He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
