Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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