this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
