States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
