Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
