On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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