I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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