wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We had sex on a dog bed..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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