I have demons in me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
