I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
