I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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