Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
