so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
