Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
