Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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