Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
