me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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