guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
