you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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