Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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