I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
